#14: The Scariest Question You Can Ask An Unemployed Person 😱
The question that scares me much more than ghosts or goblins...
Laid Off Life is a place of respite for the weary workforce. Whether you’re unemployed, on strike or just trying to make it through the workday, let this be your 5-minute mental break from the grind of late-stage capitalism.
In this weekly newsletter, you’ll find musings and insights about work and life, things I’m finding useful (or useless) in my job search, gems from my DMs, clickable bits n’ bobs, cheap thrills, and recs about worthy ways to waste time - from articles to TV shows and podcasts and beyond.
The Question I Fear Most Is…
What are you doing with all your free time?
In honor of Halloween, I was thinking about the things that scare me most about unemployment. The not knowing, the rejection, the being broke and maybe being homeless, the thought of landing a job and hating it, the existential crisis of life in modern society. All of that. But worse than that is the anxiety of having to explain or justify how I’m spending my time now that I’m “off the grid” in the capitalist sense.
Much like the people who ask this question with the very best of intentions, I mistakenly thought that being unemployed meant that I’d have loads of freedom and free time. Enough that I’d finally be able to do all the things I dreamed about doing when I was chained to my computer from 9 to 5. I had a mile-long list that included voice lessons, middle-of-the-day visits to museums, and international yoga retreats.
When I look at my unemployment bucket list now, I laugh at myself. Oh, what a naive fool I was. The gulf between expectation and reality is gaping. Here’s what my actual laid-off days are like in all of their disappointing glory. (And now that you know, please refrain from asking):
Coffee Walk. I like to walk for coffee. Most days, it’s the only time I leave the house. Sad but true.
Exercise. I try to do this every day so my body will have the muscle memory of movement should I ever again be required to do things like ride the subway to work and walk around an office.
Face Yoga. Since I can no longer afford expensive facials.
Paying Gigs. I do actually have some paying gigs (and a couple of non-paying gigs —strangely, people think you’re very available for non-paying gigs when you’re unemployed 🧐). Right now I have two consulting jobs and a freelance job that happens during work hours.
Things That May Lead To Paying Jobs. Networking, working on my portfolio, scrolling through jobs I don’t want to apply for. Do you have any idea how long it takes to customize a resume and cover letter? To prepare for an interview? A helluva a long time, that’s how long.
Entrepreneur Shit. I haven’t mentioned this yet, but, quietly, beaten down by a lack of viable jobs, I started my own business. I will tell you more soon. The last couple of months have been focused on setting up said business. LLC formation, opening a bank account, figuring out the business model, buying a domain name, doing market research, and all that fun stuff. Intrigued?
Writing Shit. I have been working on a novel since the Paleolithic Age. You’ve never heard about it since I’ve been carving it word-by-word in a secret cave. Will it ever get done? Who knows. I’m too busy doing everything listed above. Also filed under “Writing Shit” this newsletter, which I work on with a modern tool called a laptop. Writing this newsletter takes me at least 5 hours a week. Doesn’t that make you want to become a paid subscriber? 😀
All The Rest Of The Things. Reading. Listening to podcasts. Watching TV. Dishes/laundry/bill paying. Eating meals. Drinking wine. Texting friends about Reality TV shows. Grocery shopping. Scrolling through Instagram. Playing a little video game I’m addicted to called Two Dots. (I’m on level 982.) Worrying about what will become of my life and my career.
Worthy Time Wasters
Here are my weekly recs to combat doom scrolling.
WATCH: Milli Vanilli (Paramount+)
You might remember Fabrice Morvan and Rob Pilatus as the “frauds” behind the late 80s/ early 90s pop duo Milli Vanilli but this documentary reframes the deception as a narrative about the exploitation of musicians — especially Black artists — in the music industry. Although many people from Milli Vanilli’s record label and management team claimed not to have known that Fab and Rob were lip-synching, it’s easy to see now that the duo were fall guys. And let’s just say that this wasn’t the first time that Milli Vanilla producer, Frank Farian, pulled a scam like this.
WATCH: Desperately Seeking Soulmate: Escaping Twin Flames Universe (Amazon Prime)
I love a good cult/MLM takedown doc! Desperately Seeking Soulmate: Escaping Twin Flames Universe was a particularly wild one. It explores the world of Twin Flames Universe, a cult run by Jeff and Shaleia Divine, who claim that they can help anyone find their twin flame via their direct connection to God. 🤔The most shocking claim in the series is that they coerced people to change their pronouns and gender identities because of the belief that all twin flame unions must have a masculine energy and feminine energy. Bonus: After watching you can listen to this podcast episode where journalist Alice Hines, who reported this story, is interviewed.
READ: Yellowface by R.F. Kuang
This publishing industry satire is a bad art friend tale gone terribly wrong. Twenty something June Hayward is a white woman struggling to revive a writing career that never took off after her debut novel flopped. Meanwhile, her friend Athena Liu, a beautiful Asian American, has a string of best sellers, a Netflix deal and a promising publishing future. When Athena dies in a freak accident, June steals a completed manuscript from her desk and passes it off as her own. What ensues is an examination of racism, cultural appropriation and cancel culture.
READ: Inside the Real Housewives Reckoning That’s Rocking Bravo (Vanity Fair)
Bethenny Frankel’s promised Reality TV reckoning is here. You can read all the gory details of reality stars who are coming forward (with lawsuits) to expose their mistreatment by Bravo, the production companies and parent companies. Having worked at a major media company for nearly a decade, I’m familiar with what goes on behind the scenes at media behemoths. There were no shocking claims here, but there were receipts to back up the claims of carelessness around the use of alcohol, lack of appropriate mental healthcare, gaslighting, manipulation, intimidation and racism. Most disturbing were the allegations of overtly racist behavior on the set of Real Housewives of New York (pre-reboot), specifically by one Ramona Singer. If you watch Reality TV ✋🏼, and you plan to keep watching it responsibly, ✋🏼 this is required reading.
Link-A-Palooza
This week’s clickable bits n’ bobs
Here are some fall books for food lovers //The most powerful New Yorkers you’ve never heard of including a hostess at the Polo Lounge, a dominatrix to the rich and famous, and the person who scouts book for Reese Witherspoon (ala Yellowface) // The Internet is losing its shit over Michelle Williams’ reading of Britney Spears new memoir // ‘Tis the season for the NYC Halloween Dog Parade // LOL and ROFL are out IJBOL is in // Barnes & Noble got a glow up // In honor of the Sephora savings event, here are some top picks // And some more..
💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 Don’t keep all this fun to yourself! 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
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