#70: 5 Tips for Explaining Your Employment Status to Relatives Don't Get It
'Tis the season for awkward convos about your career. 😩
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5 Tips for Explaining Your Employment Status to Relatives Who Just Don't Understand
LOLers, you know how much I love the holiday season. But do you know what I don’t love? Trying to explain my employment status to relatives who JUST DON’T GET IT. Having to talk about your career after a recent layoff or in the midst of a pivot can be awkward at best, and bring up feelings of shame at worst.
That’s why I’ve personally prepared this handy FAQ for all my holiday get togethers:
Q: You haven’t found a full-time job yet?
A: No. And I’m not actively looking, but I’m open if someone wants to pay me a salary to do exactly what I’m already doing—just with more snacks, health insurance coverage, and 401K match.
Q: So…you’re still doing that newsletter thing?
A: Yes, I’m still doing that newsletter thing. It comes to your inbox weekly should you ever decide to open it.
Q: Are you still unemployed?
A: No, I’m not unemployed, I’m self-employed. My work is a finely tuned combination of freelancing, working with clients for my business, and writing projects. It’s kind of like juggling flaming swords, except the swords are my bills, and the flames are capitalism.
Q: Is this like…a passion project?
A: Absolutely, yes. It’s my passion project that also happens to pay my rent. Turns out, following what you love to do is a full-time job! Who knew?
Now, if you find yourself dreading your versions of these conversations (rightfully so), let me offer a little perspective and a few tips:
1. Remember, your loved ones mean well (most of the time).
When Aunt Linda asks if you’re still doing “that newsletter thing,” it’s not an insult—it’s her way of engaging with something she doesn’t fully understand. Reframe the conversation by leaning into what excites you about your work, even if she might not grasp all the details. Enthusiasm is contagious.
2. Have a simple, confident pitch ready.
Think of it as your personal holiday elevator pitch. For example: “I run a business where I help clients with content strategy, and I also write creatively. It’s challenging, but I love it.” Short, sweet, and shifts the topic away from a résumé critique.
3. Set boundaries when needed.
It’s okay to redirect the conversation if it’s veering into awkward territory. “Uncle Bob, let’s put a pin in my career and talk about your legendary mashed potatoes. I need that recipe!” works wonders.
4. Focus on progress, not perfection.
You don’t need to have the perfect answer to every question. Acknowledging your vulnerability is A-OK: “It’s been a year of figuring out what I want and building something I’m proud of. It’s not always easy, but I’m getting there.” Honesty paired with optimism tends to win people over.
5. Know when to laugh it off.
Sometimes, the best strategy is humor. Keeping it light can defuse awkwardness and shift the vibe.
At the end of the day, remember that these questions ARE NOT a reflection of your worth—they’re a reflection of their curiosity (or nosiness). You’re doing the work, searching for work, building the life you want, and that’s something worth celebrating. And hey, if all else fails, just stuff your face with pie. It’s much harder to answer questions with a full mouth.
Worthy Time Wasters
Here are my recs to combat doom scrolling.
📺 Bad Sisters (Apple TV+) has everything I want in a dark comedy: wit, suspense, and characters who are as messy as they are lovable. It’s like if Big Little Lies had an Irish accent and a sharper sense of humor. And speaking of family secrets, Say Nothing (Hulu) is a gripping adaptation of the true-crime book about betrayal and the Troubles in Northern Ireland. It’s haunting, heavy, and brilliantly executed. For a palate cleanser, I’m picking up Somebody Somewhere (MAX) again starting at Season 2. Lastly, if you love a scandalous docuseries, Girls Gone Wild: The Untold Story (Peacock) is deep dive into exploitation and the toxic culture of early-2000s media promoted by Joe Francis and the Girls Gone Wild franchise. It’s rubbernecking content at its finest.
🎧 Hysterical is a gripping podcast that investigates a mysterious illness afflicting high school girls in upstate New York. Host Dan Taberski delves into the outbreak, exploring whether it's environmental, psychological, or something else entirely…like mass hysteria.
📚 Ruth Ware's One Perfect Couple is a thriller you’ll want to devour with the lights on. The premise? A group of couples heads to an idyllic island in the Indian Ocean to compete on a Love Island-style reality show. But when a massive storm hits, they’re left stranded with no way to contact the outside world. Cue Lord of the Flies vibes as the group descends into chaos, secrets unravel, and the line between love and survival gets razor-thin.
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