#15: The Unemployment Diaries with Marissa Lucy

On finding your unicorn space, being one with the ocean, and the healing power of hot baths.

Laid Off Life is a place of respite for the weary workforce. Whether you’re unemployed, on strike or just trying to make it through the workday, let this be your 5-minute mental break from the grind of late-stage capitalism. 

In this weekly newsletter, you’ll find musings and insights about work and life, things I’m finding useful (or useless) in my job search, gems from my DMs, clickable bits n’ bobs, cheap thrills, and recs about worthy ways to waste time - from articles to TV shows and podcasts and beyond.

---

The Unemployment Diaries with Marissa Lucy

Welcome to Laid Off Life’s new U2U (Unemployed 2 Unemployed) feature, The Unemployment Diaries. Meet Marissa Lucy, a talented non-fiction television and podcast producer. Like many of us, she’s recently unemployed. I’m thrilled she’s agreed to share her Laid Off Life journey with us.

Tell us your layoff story. What was your initial reaction to being laid off, and how did you deal?

My first thought was “Shit.  Fuck.  It's actually happening.” After being with the company for 14.5 years, and seeing so many coworkers get chopped, I knew the day would eventually come.  But it still sucks having a 15 min meeting put on your calendar for the next day with HR cc'd, knowing that you are about to get that bad news.  The 18 hours leading up to that meeting was the worst part. 

After having that meeting put on my calendar, my husband and I drank a lot of wine that night and talked about how it was a good thing and an opportunity for new experiences.  When I woke up, I got in my best ''I’m about to get laid off’” Zoom outfit - a flowery collared shirt along with muted diamond stud earrings and my reading glasses, plus a smile, and charged on through the day.  The biggest solace was knowing that I wasn't the only one getting laid off.  But it still isn't fun losing your job, a career you've built over many, many years.

What's one piece of advice you have for someone who is at the very beginning of their laid off life journey?

I think what has helped me calm my nerves is reaching out to my network. Talk to people.  People employed, not employed.  In your work circle, outside of your work circle.  The person at the grocery store.  The person in line at the coffee shop. Parents in your children's class. Your children's teachers. Commiserate. Open yourself to those conversations that feel a little uncomfortable. I'm not saying become an emotional basket-case to anyone and everyone - but don't be afraid to let people in. You never know where that conversation might lead you.

What have you found to be the most challenging part of unemployment, both practically and emotionally?

It's a weird time.  The first thought is, Where do I even start? Who should I talk to first?  How do I apply for jobs when I've been locked into a company for so long?  But on the other end of the spectrum, it's nice at first to just put your head in a hole and not think about it, and not have to work. Focus on my family and have free time without work?  Sign me up!  But that feeling is fleeting. Soon enough, the real reality sets in, and the thoughts of how am I going to move on creep in really fast. It's something I'm still dealing with now. It's a roller coaster. Some days are giddy thinking you could have something soon, to then weeks later realizing that lead went nowhere and you're faced with frustration yet again.

What unexpected benefits or personal growth have you experienced during this time?

I've never been one to have patience when it comes to things like this. I've always been quick to move on and get reset quickly. But I'm trying to learn to be patient without being overly anxious and still stay on track.  

What’s one piece of advice your employed self would give your unemployed self?

Be happy with where you are in this season of life. One day you'll look back on these days and reminisce. Just like you had when you were an unpaid intern freaking out about how you were going to even get a paying job - when in fact - those early days led you to this very 14.5-year career. Remember to not give up.

What’s the unemployment fear that keeps you up at night?

I want my daughters to see me as a role model and someone to confide in so that one day can feel like they can come to me for career advice too. I think it's important for them to know that their mom is fulfilled beyond just being their mom. But this can mean anything - having extracurriculars, being social with friends, having a support group, being happy, being healthy, being fulfilled.  They are so young (3 and 1) so they won't have any idea about my previous life or career. They are going to know and remember what I do with my career next. So, those thoughts of being the best mentor and role model for your daughters are what really keep me up.

What are your daily routines, rituals, and strategies for staying motivated, productive, and sane during your job search?

Oh, if I only had a routine!  It truly changes weekly. Some weeks we are traveling and taking advantage of this rare laid off time as a family. Some weeks I'm really great about working out, eating healthy, resume building, applying to jobs, and talking to my network. But other weeks are a blur for whatever reason I don't even know. My one constant daily routine is that I wake up early before the family to have my coffee, have quiet time, and snuggle with Rosie our dog, sit outside and listen to the birds waking up and watching the sunrise. Nature is definitely my therapy. Being outside is super important to me. If I'm not getting outside on a daily basis, I'm cranky and that isn't good for anyone. 

Have you developed any unusual habits since becoming unemployed?

Our kitchen is cleaner than it's ever been. I can't be home and look at dirty dishes in the sink or a dirty countertop. It freaks me out. I also grab a coffee at my local coffee shop every morning. I never did this as regularly as I do now - it just took too much time out of my morning. But there are a couple of regulars there who I've become close with and it's nice to say hi and check in.

Please share any networking or job search tips that have been helpful for you.

Instead of applying to jobs, I'm trying to think of ways of getting to the person who's going to say YES. I may just be cynical, but I feel like LinkedIn and job sites are a bunch of BS. I've never had luck on those. If you know anyone who has, let me know! I'd love to know how they were able to crack that nut. It may take time, and you may have to talk to A LOT of people to get there - never back down and keep chasing those leads.  One day I'll get there.

Speaking of dream jobs, what is your dream job, if time, money, experience, and reality were of no consequence?

I always thought it would be amazing to be a marine biologist. I grew up at the beach. I feel like the ocean literally runs in my blood. When I was little, I always thought it would be so cool to live on a research boat that takes deep dives into the ocean - something like a scene out of Titanic. That's why I love doing what I do. I may not be able to be an actual Marine Biologist, but I can produce content and tell stories from any aspect of life.

What kind of work are you hoping to do next (in case anyone reads this and has a lead for you)?

I'm always going to love my documentaries. Any kind of work in that area is always going to make me feel fulfilled. I'm also loving the work I've done for podcasts too.  The storytelling for podcasts can get so much deeper than TV because you aren't held back by visuals to get into the nitty-gritty of a story.  I think audio in a way allows people's imaginations to travel farther and they get deeply invested because they aren't tied to the image and video they see on a screen

If you could have any fictional job from a movie or book, what would it be, and why?

I don't know if I could pick just 1!  I think people are meant to wear many different hats throughout their life and their careers.  If there was a world where I live the life of Kate Hudson's character Penny Lane in Almost Famous, or Riley Keough's character Daisy Jones in Daisy Jones and the Six, with the “I don't give a fuck” attitude Kelly Riley's character in Yellowstone with the time-traveling ability like Caitriona Balfe's character Claire Fraser in Outlander - I'd be set.  A mix of a free-spirited, fearless leader and time-traveling healer and explorer sounds about right.

If unemployment were a competitive sport, what would your unique talent or skill be in that competition?

Meal prepping. I've never cooked for my family as much as I have now.

Remote, In Office, or Hybrid?

Hybrid…hopefully! 

Lunch at your desk or take a break and eat properly?

I'm a pack my own salad and eat it at my desk kind of person. I don't even order lunch usually, I pack it. Lame, I know.  It's something I would like to change when I get back into the office again. 

Most cringey job interview you’ve been on? 

Back in college, I had an interview for a job as a server at the Cheesecake Factory. Very happy that didn't work out in hindsight. 

Worst thing you’ve done for money? 

Cleaning toilets at the YMCA. It's a long story...

Best thing you’ve done for money?

Beach Lifeguard for the Bethany Beach Patrol. My ultimate glory days. Best days of my 20s were spent in the lifeguard chair making so many amazing memories with my fellow guards who are now like family, while actually saving and protecting people at the beach. I've medivaced people off my beach for neck injuries. I was a Junior Lifeguard camp counselor. Just so much love and pride working those summers at the beach. Plus, if I could stay that blonde and tan forever, that would really be something.

What are your worthy time wasters?

I'm actually starting my own sourdough starter from scratch. I'm on day 7 and the thing is finally starting to rise and take on life. I know I'm late to this game - but hey, I've got a little extra time these days, so why not try to make my own sourdough bread at home?  Reading the book Find Your Unicorn Space.

It's very fitting for this phase of my life. I realized that even though I'm creative, I am not doing anything that literally makes me feel as alive in the creative space as I should. Something that makes me feel like me. That's what this book is all about. So, I'm working on a secret side project I'm hoping to share with the world soon.

One cheap thrill that you recommend?

Hot baths. Lavender Epsom salt, eucalyptus, and chamomile essential oils with Sleepy Time tea right before bed. It's heaven. And you'll have the deepest sleep you've ever had. 

Tell us about the last Internet rabbit hole you fell into.

How to raise chickens and start a self-sustaining farm on your own land. Our recent move from DC to the Shenandoah has me thinking of all sorts of ways to live a more local and healthy life for my family, and the environment.

Where can people find you?

For job opportunities, you can hit me up on LinkedIn or follow me on Instagram.

---

💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 Don’t keep all this fun to yourself! 🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️

The very best way you can support this newsletter is to share it. If you liked it, or if you didn’t but know someone who will, SHARE IT:

💰💰💰 Or better yet, become a paid subscriber! 💸💸💸

This newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To ensure that I keep writing it, consider becoming a paid subscriber or gifting a subscription to a loved one.