#19: It's Been A Year Since I Was Laid Off — Here’s What I’ve Learned
As my one year layoff anniversary approaches, I feel like an entirely different person.
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It’s Been A Year Since I Was Laid Off — Here’s What I’ve Learned
As my one year layoff anniversary approaches, I feel like an entirely different person. Ironically, I’m much happier professionally than I have been in a very long time. The journey there has been flying over the Rocky Mountains during a snowstorm level turbulent. Along the way, there have been some lessons learned. Here are a few of them:
All the good opportunities are on the other side of fear. The very worst week of this entire year was the week my severance package ended. Not gonna lie, I spent most of that week sobbing, drinking wine, and applying to jobs I didn’t want. In my mind, I thought I would have another job by the time that severance ended. I didn’t and I felt like I’d failed.
That week, I experienced the final sputter of the motor before the car ran out of gas. That, my friends, was the fear leaving my body. It was the final step through the doorway of the known, into the unknown. Once I got through that week and found that I was still alive and well, that was the actual moment that things started to come into focus for me career-wise. Once I embraced my new reality of being unemployed with no viable, full-time job prospects, I was free to start building the career I wanted. Freelance jobs, exciting projects, and creative ideas started to burst forth like the first buds in spring. There have been several such moments this year, when I’m holding on so tightly, panicking, worrying, spiraling, until I have no choice but to release my grip. Every time I summon the courage to do that, and walk through the fear, I move forward.
I can absolutely learn how to do anything. One of the self-doubt refrains that takes up space in my head is, “But what if I can’t do that?” Throughout my career, I’ve had that thought often, even when I was gainfully employed. As an unemployed person, I had the opportunity to debunk that crippling thought when taking on new clients, projects, and jobs as a party of 1. When you work at a large company and have team members to delegate to and co-workers and higher-ups dictating your tasks and goals, it’s rare that you have the time or energy to experiment and learn new things. But learning new things is precisely what’s needed to dispel that self-doubt and build confidence. Here are a few of the new skills I taught myself this year:
Editing audio
Editing video
Becoming proficient at all sorts of Canva design
Starting an LLC
Basic web design
Sharpening my SEO knowledge
Building a portfolio
(It was an existential crisis, but I finished it, eventually!)
Show don’t tell. “I’m an innovator and an idea generator.” That’s what I said to the general manager of my cable network on my first week on the job. He chuckled and replied, “We’ll see about that.”
I spent the next 8 years proving to him over and over again, in repeated success, that my statement was true. And along the way he became a mentor and great supporter. At the time, his response rankled. How could he not take my word for it? Now I get it. The number one rule for writers is show don’t tell. The same rule applies for attracting the career opportunities you want. It’s very hard to convince an overworked recruiter who doesn’t know you how fabulous you are in 30 minutes. Show people what you’re capable of by doing your work and (gulp) sharing it with the world —regardless of your current employment status.
Don’t wait for permission to do your work. Expounding on my point above, there’s no magic YES you’re waiting for. You give permission to yourself to do the work that brings you joy and you can do that work whether or not you’re employed. That was my huge lightbulb moment and the major turning point in my laid off journey. A lot of people were saying NO to me and I was letting that stop me from doing what I do best. How ridiculous! I write, I create content, I build engaged audiences and communities. That’s what I’ve done for a living and that’s what I needed to continue to do. I started saying YES to myself and my ideas. I launched this newsletter (amongst some other exciting projects I have in the works) and have been 100% more content since then.
Self-promotion can also be authentic. Does anyone else get sweaty armpits just thinking about regularly promoting yourself on LinkedIn? I am filled with nothing but awe and respect for people who have no problem spouting off their elevator pitch, who can write a witty LinkedIn headline in a jiffy, who can summarize their career aspirations in a tight 5. Can you give the rest of us some of your assuredness?
Self-promotion is so hard for many of us (me included!). No one wants to feel like they’re bragging — or worse — selling to an audience who doesn’t want to buy. But finding an authentic-to-you way to self-promote is essential. I knew I didn’t want to post on LinkedIn about my layoff — it’s just not my style. (More about this in a moment.) But I had to figure out what was my style. I’ve worked for big websites and run social media channels for big brands for many, many years. During that time, I didn’t invest in my own projects or social media channels. When faced with the prospect of communicating online in my voice, I felt lost, honestly.
I started off very slowly by promoting this newsletter on LinkedIn and Instagram. It took me almost 5 months of sending out Laid Off Life every week to even start promoting it! In one month’s time, I’ve grown my Substack subscriber base by 282%. My LinkedIn impressions are up more than 6000%. I’ve gotten a few job opportunities and connected with some people I don’t know or haven’t spoken to in a while. All of that is to say, it’s worth whatever amount of discomfort to share with your friends and professional network what you’re up to in a way that feels authentic to you.
Don’t stigmatize yourself. As I confessed above, I never posted a single thing on LinkedIn about being laid off until one month ago because “it’s not my thing.” What I mean by that was that, as a consummate overachiever, I felt ashamed that I’d been given a pink slip. I was afraid to be seen as a failure, weak, or desperate for work. I was stigmatizing myself.
It’s not my fault that I was laid off in the middle of an industry-wide crisis, during a huge merger and cost-savings campaign. It’s easy to feel like you did something wrong when you get laid off. But I’m here to tell you that you didn’t!
Choosing to be vulnerable and honest about getting laid off and normalizing the difficulty of it is what helped me stop stigmatizing myself. Hey, there are lots of us out here and we’re finding our way. Being open to receiving support from others has been a true gift. People want to support you. They want to help you find a new job or hook you up with gigs. Let them do it without all your shame baggage getting in the way!
The most powerful word is NO. YES is also powerful, but NO is almighty. If you’re a person who has a habit of saying yes to everything (we won’t get into the underlying reasons), and feels guilt about turning down any potential work opportunities, learn to say NO. NO is your best friend. Think of it this way: Saying NO is a sign that you are clear about what you’re saying YES to.
This past year, I’ve had to say NO to many, many opportunities — paid or unpaid. I’ve even had to say NO to investing my time into applying for any job I wasn’t incredibly excited about. Now that I’m consulting and freelancing, I need to look at all professional opportunities very carefully. If they don’t align with my schedule, my goals, my interests, or my pay requirements, its a NO for me. It’s a delicate balance between earning money, staying busy, leaving room for new opportunities, and creating space for my own projects. I don’t know that I’ve quite gotten the dance down, but I’m learning to with the help of my good friend, the word NO.
LOLers, what has being laid off taught you? I’d love to hear your insights in the comments.
Worthy Time Wasters: A Lot Of Spotifying To Do Edition 🎧
Here are my weekly recs to combat doom scrolling.
I was sad to learn that Spotify is laying off 17% of its employees — especially after delighting in all of the recent Wrapped memes. In case you need to escape your own top songs of 2023, I’ll share 7 hours and 43 minutes of my 100 most listened to songs this year.
I’ve been a Spotify subscriber since 2012. I like their podcast interface way better than Apple’s! And since they added 150,000+ audiobooks free of charge for premium subscribers, I’ve been spending even more time on the app. Here are my current Spotify recs:
🎧 Believable: The Coco Berthmann Story
As a person formerly employed at true crime network, I’m hard-pressed to hear a true crime podcast that leaves me gobsmacked. This one had more twists and turns than a hairpin road.
The 10-episode series explores the story of Coco Berthmann, an internet-famous sex trafficking survivor who was arrested in 2022 for raising funds to help pay the bills for her fake cancer diagnosis. Her many lies unraveled from there. Coco claimed that her own mother sex trafficked her, that she was going on tour with Celine Dion, that she suffered from a seizure and fainting disorder, and of course, that she had cancer. Coco (not her real name) bamboozled lots of folks —especially those in Utah’s LDS community. Believable investigates her wild claims and tries to get to the bottom of the truths and the lies that comprise Coco’s life story.
🎧 The Woman in Me by Britney Spears
If I ever question Britney’s Instagram posts again, strike me dead. I listened to the audiobook version of The Woman in Me on my Thanksgiving roadtrip and wept.
Is there an Oscar category for audiobook performances? If so, the Oscar goes to… Michelle Williams for mind-blowing narration. Her performance lives up to all the hype you’ve seen on social media. Michelle was somehow able to become Britney. As I listened, I thought I was listening to Britney. For that reason, this one is worth listening to rather than reading.
I walked away from the book feeling so much empathy for what Britney went through. She can post all the nude videos of herself juggling knives that she wants to. Live your life, girl! You deserve it!
And now that I’m on the audiobook train, I’m listening to My Murder, a dark thriller about a woman who is forced to solve her own murder…after the fact.
The narrator of the story is Lou is a happily married mother of an adorable toddler. She was also the victim of a local serial killer. Lou was recently brought back to life by a government project. As the “new” Lou re-adapts to her life, and bonds with other female victims that were brought back to life, she realizes that disturbing questions remain about what exactly preceded her death and how much she can really trust those around her.
Linkapalooza
This week’s clickable bits n’ bobs.
Don’t worry, no one actually feels like an adult // R.I.P. lady blogs or maybe not if Paste has a say // Best books of the year from every. imaginable. media. outlet. // If you’re not into books, here are the best longform articles of the year // Are you experiencing the friendship dip?// Some great nuggets of career wisdom from Greta Gerwig including the sage advice not to get too precious about making the “right” decision // Speaking of nuggets…McNugget Buddies are back, baby! // Um, can we talk about Taryn Manning’s “Gold Juice” conspiracy theory? // File this under no one cares but me: Alexis Bellino is returning to RHOC AND dating Shannon Beador’s ex 😲 // George Santos has agreed to be interviewed by Ziwe…at he said so on X //
💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 Don’t keep all this fun to yourself! 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
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Ami, this was so encouraging to read and resonates with where I'm at with things. I was laid off in July (my second layoff in 12 months, third layoff in five years) and have been pursuing freelance work until the next full-time role comes along. I'm close to my full-time freelancing goals, and I've learned so much in the last few few months about what I'm capable of handling, as a content strategist and as a fledgling business owner. Best of luck to you in the new year.