#34: 16 Simple Salary Negotiation Tips to Take the Stress Out of the Process
If the phrase "salary negotiation" gives you hives, read on!
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16 Simple Salary Negotiation Tips to Take the Stress Out of the Process
If negotiating pay (be it for a full-time position, consulting job, or contract work) makes you want to hide under the covers, you’re not alone. I’m on a mission to demystify the salary negotiation process for all of us who may feel awkward, insecure, or unsure of how to ask for what we deserve without fear or anxiety. No matter what kind of work you do, money conversations can be very uncomfortable. (Even if you are using a script.)
When I was in grad school, the bursar came and spoke to my class and said something that has stuck with me for all these years. She said, “Money is a reflection of the state of your soul.” Take some time with that, it’s deep.
I’m sure it’s a bit of a different flavor for all of us, but money stuff can be a trigger for feelings of fear, unworthiness, and lack of deservingness. (I know it can be for me.) Also, I don’t know about you, but I feel like there are so many mixed messages around salary negotiation. On the one hand, we should demand what we’re worth, and on the other, we should tread lightly because we’re in an employer’s market and companies have all the power. Ask for too little, and you may undervalue yourself, ask for too much and you’ll be laughed out of the room (or at least, that’s what happens in my nightmares).
When I parse through this shitstorm of conflicting advice, I land in a place of simply wanting to be prepared and feel empowered when I have conversations about pay. Now, that I’m navigating the world of self-employment, I’m in a whole different game where I have to figure out hourly rates, day rates, per-project rates, and retainer fees. Fun!
For some sage advice for all of us, I sought counsel from trusted colleagues and thought leaders in this space to collect some simple and actionable tips to take the drama out of the negotiation process. Here’s what I learned:
Salary negotiations are expected. You are not bothering anyone, or being ungrateful asking for more. They might say no, but HR/Hiring manager are expecting you to ask.
It's not their money. We get so nervous about asking for more, as though every cent you ask for has to come out of the paycheck of the person you're asking from. That's so not true.
Don't forget to negotiate your salary when you get a promotion. It's trickier and not as expected, but in some circumstances, it's good to ask. The rule of thumb is that the company probably wants to keep raises associated with promotions at around a 10% increase. If you're below that, definitely ask for more. Also, note that it probably would cost them 20% or more to replace you, so if you're in that 10% range, it could be worth asking. You might get up to 12-15%.
Salary doesn't have to be everything. If they are firm on salary, there could be other monetary levers they can pull for you - higher bonus %, more paid time off, etc.
Any place that would pull your offer based on your asking for more is not a place you want to work. I guarantee they'd have inhuman expectations and you'd be dodging a bullet.
Not only must you negotiate, you need to believe you can/should negotiate. Watch Amy Cuddy’s Ted talk for inspiration. Once you get comfortable with the idea of taking up space, you’ll be better positioned to “know your worth, then add tax.”
Do your homework. Know what competitors in your industry pay at your level. Ask your friends/colleagues what their salary is and tell them yours. Information is power and a sure-fire way to demystify it is to share it.
When you get to the place of negotiation, do these two things: 1) Remove the emotion 2) Ask for what you want and then STOP TALKING. (I made myself a sign next to my laptop that says, “Don’t overtalk. Silence is ok.”)
Practice. The way to remove emotion is to be informed with data (because you did your homework) and because you are well-rehearsed. Write a script and practice in the mirror. Say the words out loud. Say the salary out loud, especially if it’s a big number that you’ve never asked for before. Write the dollar amount down on a sticky note and look at it during your Zoom/Call.
I find that women tend to offer a fee and then IMMEDIATELY create a scenario where the cost can be lower. Even when you haven’t been asked. So, after you provide your fee, stop and take long sip of water. The client will either agree (yeah!) or ask for further details. This temporary pause allows them, and you, to get on the same page without devaluing your services. All too often we are our own worst enemy when it comes to this.
When you show you can advocate for yourself, you show you can advocate for your company. I truly believe this and it makes me feel empowered when I’m negotiating.
The strongest negotiating position is when you know the point at which you can walk away. Knowing your dealbreakers is key.
There is so much power in the pause and understanding market rates. Sharing salaries with trusted peers - men and women - is critical.
Do not explain your reason why you should earn the amount you want. I noticed this in almost every position I hired: When candidates are asked about their desired salary they start to get sweaty and try to explain why and how they come to the conclusion that they want to earn xyz. Hard truth: A Recruiter doesn’t care why you want to earn the amount. We are just working with the hard facts: What is the amount, is it negotiable and does it fit with our budget / is there any room to make both sides happy? That’s it. There is no personal attachment to it if we believe you should earn more or less. When you are asked about your desired salary and you understood the scope of the role…please be confident and just name the number without any explanation. You seem so much more confident if you do so. Be confident about what your work is worth.
State the amount that you have researched and that you think is fair…and then say nothing. Do not justify why. Just state your number. Remaining silent without justifying (especially for women) is the most difficult thing to do, but that is where your power and advantage lies. The person usually responds after the pause, “Okay, I’ll check with the team and get back to you.” And usually they accept the amount if it’s within their budget.
Any hot salary negotiation tips to add? Leave a comment below.
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Ami what a powerful, resourceful post, I’m am honored to be among these incredible women who have provided some insight